Comfort Foods

We all have one... or ten. A certain dish that makes us feel better even for a moment.

Grilled cheese, tomato soup, mashed potatoes, mac & cheese, pancakes, a glass (or bottle) of wine, cake, ice cream, frosting right out of the container...

Sorry to make your mouth water!

We all have our go-to food in moments when we are sad or angry or confused or lost or whatever we are feeling that isn't "happy."

Although I LOVE everything listed above, none of them are the thing my mind goes to when I'm unhappy. I've written about it before and will probably write about it again, and I promise I'm trying to overcome it. However, the first thing my mind goes to in those moments is SODA... fizzy, bubbly, sugary, yummy, burns-as-it-goes-down SODA!

I've done very well today. I sold the Pepsi I had taken to work today with the intention of only drinking it if I had a headache because someone was throwing a fit that the vending machines were empty. I didn't regret it. For lunch, I went to a pizza place for salad bar ONLY and drank UNSWEET tea. (If you live in southern USA, you are probably familiar with the INSANE looks you get when you order tea in any form other than sweet.) When I craved something sweet after work, I shook up a cup of Herbalife Peach Mango Protein Beverage Mix. The stuff is basically protein kool-aid. IT IS AWESOME!

Then, I come home and someone I live with is in a mood. You know... the kind of mood that is caused by one person but taken out on everyone who is NOT that person? Yeah... that kind of mood. My first thought when it is directed at me is "I want a Pepsi." Now, I'm definitely a Coke drinker when I have the choice, but the household prefers pepsi and it keeps me from drinking as many.

Well, I've drank water instead. Water on top of water on top of more water... and it is NOT quenching my thirst because my brain is determined that I will give into this craving. I'm trying to write this to put it out to the universe so I don't give into the craving. I'll be going to bed soon because I have an insane work day tomorrow, and any sugar consumed will most definitely go straight to my waistline. But, it's so hard. I know I can get past it, but it has never gotten easier for me even when I've stopped drinking sodas for months at a time. I always crave it. I always enjoy it. Everyone says that when you stop for any decent amount of time it will taste too sweet when you drink it again. NOT FOR ME! I can tell you right now that my taste buds still throw a party when the fizzy liquid hits them.

This combined with only dropping 0.6lb this week is frustrating me. I KNOW I'm in control! I just want to know when it "feels" like I'm in control?

*Rant Over*

What the What?!

Oh man! Where have I been?

I'll tell you. I've been busy, and haven't been able to update in a while. Between three part-time jobs and trying to finish my novel, I am just a wee bit stretched thin.

However, I'm here to update you on the happenings in my life.

When I recommitted to my nutrition plan, I was super jazzed. I still am, and I'm finding new inspiration and motivation every single day. This isn't an exaggeration. There are so many wonderfully supportive people in this crazy yet beautiful world. It's lovely, and it is helping me learn to love myself more!

So, let's update. Shall we?

When I started blogging again last month, I weighed in at 265 lbs. I had told myself I wasn't going to post numbers, but this blog is about honesty. I don't want to sugar coat my situation. I don't want to make it seem better than it is. Full disclosure over here, and I'm not ashamed of it!

Now, 265 lbs. means I had gained FIFTEEN lbs. that I had previously lost. WHAT THE WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?!

Well, on March 22, 2015, I weighed in at 255.8 lbs. That is a weight loss of 9.2 lbs. in a week. SERIOUSLY! That is INSANE! I'm not sure what I did that week that made me so successful, but I'll take it especially since the past 2 weeks I have maintained between 255.8 and 257. Am I about about maintaining? NO! I'm not trying to MAINTAIN! I'm trying to LOSE! However, my goal was to lose 2 lbs/week. Well, I lost enough that first week to cover those other 2 weeks, meaning I'm still on track! I would LOVE to be ahead, but I am only human.

I wasn't perfect during Weeks 2 & 3 like I was during Week 1. I haven't even been perfect for all of Week 4, but I've been better. I'm working out more. In fact, my walks have turned into walk-run-walk-run. I made the choice to start running because my legs were aching while walking one day. It wasn't a cramp. It felt like they wanted more. I just started running. I can't describe it, but the moment I started running the pain in my legs vanished. It was the strangest feeling because I hate running. So now I stretch, walk to warm up a little more, run for a bit (read: until winded), walk, run, etc. Today, I did this for 1.88 miles. The last little bit I didn't think I was going to make it. I was trembling and STARVING! OMG! SO HUNGRY! But, I made it. Tomorrow, I'm aiming for a full 2 miles. I may just have to up my protein intake beforehand.

Now, I just have to get my food intake under control. Finances are TIGHT right now, so I haven't been able to order as many products as I would like OR buy the healthy options I LOVE at the grocery store. It hasn't been ideal, but I'm making the best of it. It just takes a little creativity.

So, that's what is happening as of this moment. My weigh-in is Sunday, and I'm hoping to have passed that pesky 255. If not, I'll just work harder during Week 5. I'm also hoping to have enough time to take my measurements, which I haven't done the past 2 weeks. I fit into a pair of pants I haven't worn in 10 years a few days ago, so surely I've lost an inch or two.

Until next time, stay happy and healthy!